Update - 3 weeks out

Tomorrow is 3 weeks out from surgery and I am doing better.  I was totally prepared for the surgery, what I was not prepared for was the emotional roller coaster that I've been riding since the surgery.

So for most of my teenage years as well as the majority of my adult life one of the things that "defined" me as a person was my overly large chest.  It was admired by me, my hubby, men and women a like.  Not saying that everyone wanted my chest because I didn't even want it!  It was just so large that it was hard to miss!  Trust me I did my absolute best at trying to minimize it, minimizer bras that pushed them in so far that I had armpit boobs, wearing a size smaller because it would tighten up my chest, always wearing suit jackets over my clothing at work. You name it I probably tried it.

I'll be honest I did like the attention that they got occasionally.  My college and high school friends and I would joke about them and it was fun, but underneath it all I wasn't happy with how they looked.  As I grew (and trust me 2 kids I grew both in weight and in my chest) they grew!  I think they grew 3-4 times faster than I did weight wise.  Every time I would lose weight they would stay the same size.  So by the time I was ready both physically and mentally they had grown to 42Hs.  These boobs didn't just grow with kids.  To put it in perspective, when I was in high school they were 36DD, when I graduated from UT (my lightest adult weight) 36DDD.  So as you can see they've always been pretty big...

Here's the problem, if you've always gotten attention from your boobies and you feel that they had a hand in defining you and one day they're gone, how would you feel?  So now you all are asking oh crap is she regretting the surgery?  The answer is absolutely not!  My back feels the best it ever has and my migraines have pretty much disappeared.  However it feels as though a piece of me is missing, in fact a very good friend of mine texted me after the surgery and provided condolences about the loss of the "twins". So I am coping and realizing that my breasts are not the only defining part of me.

This has been the hardest part of having the surgery as it has been very emotional for me.  For those of you who know me I am not the most "emotional" person.  Yeah I cry on occasion, but it's not like that at all, I spilled wine on Friday night and instead of my normal explicative I started crying uncontrollably for no reason.  One minute I feel great and the next I feel like I am going to burst into tears.  Hence the reason why I felt the need to extend my leave.  As Brian put it perfectly, he could totally see my boss asking for a report for me to only break into tears, and I don't want that happening!  So one additionally piece of advice, if you are not "mentally" ready for surgery don't do it!  I know I was ready, I had been prepared for it, but I was not totally mentally ready for the after effects.

So for the after pictures...  I've posted 2 after pics, they aren't very good and I am still swollen, but it gives you an idea of what they look like in clothes!  I promise that I will post pics that are a little better than these soon!  I've also posted a pre-surgery pic from my sister Nikki's wedding.

Caldwell Blog

~Erin

Update on Recovery

So I haven't blogged lately and I thought I would keep everyone up to date. 

Days 1 - 2 after surgery:
I was feeling pretty good, but I was still on prescription medication and wasn't fully feeling everything that was going on.  I was super swollen from the IV's and was having some stomach issues as well. 

Days 2 - 4 after surgery:
I hit my bottom on day 3.  Sore, breasts were leaking and felt so sick.  Pain from the stitches and just overall body pain.  I started weening myselft from the pain meds on day 4 and continued with the stomach issues as I was going off the pain meds. 

Days 5 - 6 after surgery:
I was starting to feel more human and started moving around more, helping around the house, etc.  I learned my lesson quickly that although it's breast reduction surgery, it's still major surgery and I don't have the stamina I did before the surgery.  My body is healing and I need to take everything slow!

Yesterday/Last night:
The tiredness started in yesterday and continues on to today.  The sharp pains started last night at 4 am and continued on until 6 am when they finally subsided.  Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night.  I am no longer on prescription pain meds and as you can imagine Motrin is not all that spectacular to take away all of the pain that I am encountering. 

Overall I've been asked if I like my breasts.  It's a hard question to answer as they are not the final product.  They are smaller than before and I noticed that when I wear t-shirts and other tops my breasts are no longer in my armpits (yippee!).  But they are all bruised and still leaking puss and other stuff, but I have been assured that this is normal and it will eventually subside.  I am able to sleep without feeling that my breasts are going to suffocate me and the relief I feel in my back and shoulders is terrific.   Looking forward to the future progress.  For now it's just laying low and resting. 

Some tips for people that are considering reduction surgery...

1.  Make sure that you have all of your help lined up.  My mom spent 4 days with us and it was terrific.  She helped with laundry, picking up the kids and the house.
2.  Don't think that by week 2 you no longer need help!  LIES I tell you!!!!!  Your husband or spouse cannot handle the kids and the house by themselves!  I am learning that more and more.  I am still super sore and cannot make meals and do laundry, or clean up the kitchen and let me tell you the kitchen needs some drastic help!  Last night we had take out for dinner for the 3rd night in a row! 
3.  If you are a stay at home mom, makes ure your kids are going to summer camp.  I can't tell you how much I've been able to relax during the day because the girls are not here. 
4.  If you work full time out of the house, make sure that you take enough time off from work to recover, don't check emails, answer your blackberry, etc.  It's not worth it!!!  I've turned off my blackberry so I wouldn't check the emails that are coming in while I am out of the office. 

I hope this helps anyone considering a reductions.  I've enjoyed writing the blog and will continue to do so throughout the remainder of my recovery. 

~Erin

Down the recovery path

So day 2 after surgery and I am typing so I am making progress.  I am in a lot of pain, although the Tylenol 3 with Codeine helps a lot.  My chest is sooo much smaller than it was before.  Here's the run down of the day of surgery and after effects.

Day of Surgery:
I was shuffled into a room and given a gown to wear with nothing else.  That is not fun!!!  Then was given a patch for nausea and also a little shot to relax me.  I was then wheeled into the operating room and moved to the table.  From that point on I don't remember a thing.  Next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery super hot and sweaty.  I stayed a couple of hours in recovery and then was moved to a room with an 81 year old woman who I think was dealing with dimensia.  I was given morphine and Tylenol 3 for pain and wow it put me to sleep!!!

Recovery:
Came home from the hospital on Wednesday and I am doing ok.  The soreness and pain has not gone away, so I am still taking Tylenol 3 with Codeine and it is working to take away the pain.  My chest is still swollen as is the rest of my body from the I-Vs but I am super happy with the results of the surgery.  I will hopefully post pics later on this week when I am feeling up to it. 

~Erin

Twas the night before...

Twas the night before surgery and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even my spouse...

Alright so it's the night before the surgery and I am NERVOUS!!!!  Don't get me wrong, I asked for the surgery and I want it, just very nervous because tomorrow for 4 - 6 hours I will not be in control of my body.  For anyone that knows me I am a CONTROL FREAK!!!  So handing over control to someone else is concerning for me.

So an update on where we are at, I've been taking Iron pills (hate them) because my doctor says it will help in the healing process, however they constipate you and make you sick to your stomach.  YUCK!  So I have to take them with food, which just constipates you more and makes you miserable...  I will be super happy after the surgery is over and I can stop taking them.  Also I've been given this anti-septic soap that I have to use and it dries out your skin fierce, the bad thing is I can't even use lotion on that area to make my skin feel better.  But this is all for the greater good so I continue to follow doctors orders and use it.  I had my final consultation last week, no golf for 6 to 8 weeks (boo!), no driving for 1 to 2 weeks (double boo!), so it looks as though I will be housebound for a while, which again if you know me well, that is going to be super hard.

So surgery is tomorrow and although I am nervous I am excited as well.  So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  Surgery is at 8:45 am...

~Erin